What I Learned About Motherhood On Dance Recital Day

Miss Izzybella showed off her dance skills today, and boy, are we proud!

Honestly, this day was a hot mess.  I am not made to be a #dancemom.  Just no.  First, I was so wrong on my timing of when to get ready, how long it would take to do her hair - which, by the way, ballerina buns are the devil - and how long it would take me to get myself in some sort of presentable fashion.  Needless to say, I was flustered and, quite frankly, irritated to the maximum level.  And what did I do?  I took that frustration out on everybody else.  Well, mostly my husband.  Sorry, honey.

Once we arrived at the venue, we had to walk all the way around the building twice - at least it seemed that way - because all the doors were locked except the main entrance.  Meanwhile, Bella Ruth wants to play, dig in the dirt, run in the wet grass, pick up leaves.  I'm screaming, "No!" and "Don't get dirty!" and "Great. Your tights are dirty!"

Once we finally get inside, trying to figure out which way to go was a maze.  When I asked, I'm looked at like "Why don't you know already."  Well, sorry, folks, but while y'all were having your technical practice, this momma was still at work.  Oh, the frustration.  Then, we picked our seats high in the balcony because everybody in the gallery seating had saved entire rows with one purse.  An anxious lady decided she wanted to sit in our row, but instead of allowing me to get up and move out of the way, she stands so close to me that I step on her.  Her response, "Ow!  Watch out!"  I'm just trying to give you room, lady!  Please Wait, Mr. Panda. 

We finally got settled, Izzy with us because she didn't dance until after intermission, and the curtains opened.  Wow.  Those young ladies and young men were so good!  The littles were so cute looking at each other for the next steps, and the older students were so graceful, elegant, and disciplined.  The costumes were gorgeous, colorful, and sparkly, of course.  And the best overall performance had to be the Boy Bands group performing to Justin Timberlake's "Can't Stop the Feeling" and N*Sync's "Bye, Bye, Bye."  It was epic!  I enjoyed the show, even though it was three hours long and I was hangry, but the highlight for me was Izzy finally making it on stage with a huge smile and a wave to her family.  Bless her little heart!  She was so excited to be in front of that big audience.

I don't know if dance will be Izzy's passion, but she certainly enjoyed herself today.  She looked beautiful and performed well.  Obviously, I'm proud of her.  I hope she knows that my frustration this morning was only because I wanted this day to be perfect for her.  On this Mother's Day Eve, I'm reminded again of what this "holiday" means to me.  Moms work hard for everything to be just perfect, most especially for their children.  Sure, there is societal pressure for moms to have it together, but for me, it's a personal issue.  I want only the best for Izzy.  Our life is not perfect, though.  Izzy and I argue.  She makes me want to scream, and sometimes I do.  She makes me want to ugly cry out of frustration and anger, and sometimes I do.    How it's possible to be so mad and upset with someone, yet still beam with pride and ache with a love that knows no boundaries is completely beyond my understanding.  But that's what motherhood is:  a whole bunch of emotions balled up and shoved down our throats that sometimes leak out of our eye sockets.   And would we change it?  Nope.  Not one bit.

Case and point:  my princess.

Y'all, I'm proud of this bun.  I think I had some sort of magical help today.

She's a star, so she had special star stamps on her eyes.  Thanks, Ipsy Glam Bag for the new eyeliner!

After the show, she said she needed flowers.  Luckily, Aunt Monica came through.  Thanks, Sis!

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